The Awkward Girl's Guide to the Week | In Which I Fail At Packing

(But win at taking photos with pigs.) (No, that's not a euphemism...)

[Hi, it’s Amber with The Awkward Girl’s Guide to the Week: my rundown of what I’ve been reading, watching, buying and otherwise getting up to over the last seven days. This newsletter is free to all subscribers, but a paid subscription will get you access to exclusive, subscriber-only content, and will also help keep me out of the Victorian workhouse I’m headed to at the end of the summer, so if that sounds like it’s worth a few quid, you can upgrade below. If you enjoy the newsletter/are just generally a good person, then shares and/or restacks would be deeply appreciated: there’s even a leaderboard and rewards and things, but please don’t ask me how they work, because I literally just discovered it…]

I’ve spent the last week in Kent, which we generally visit a couple of times each year; mostly to spend time with our family there, but also to take advantage of the marginally better climate, and take photos of random, pink-painted buildings. Well, someone has to.

We’ve done this trip so many times now you’d think I’d have packing for it down to a fine art, but, alas, you would be very, very wrong about that, because I am terrible at packing. Terrible. And always in different ways, too. For our trip to Gran Canaria last month, for instance, I took pretty much everything I own AND everything Max owns — which made for a cluttered couple of weeks, crammed into a hotel room with all of our worldly goods. Then, a mere week later, I found myself sitting in the car en route to Kent, wondering if I’d packed shoes other than the ones I was wearing, and if I really could get away with wearing that one dress every single day. You live and you… well, you live, I guess…

Things I Did Not Pack for My Trip to Kent Last Week:

• The trainers that go with everything.

• A belt for the jeans that fall down without one.

• The cream hoodie that can be worn over anything.

• Tops long enough to be worn with leggings or cycle shorts.

• A bag large enough to cart all of my and Max’s stuff around.

Things I Did Pack:

• The trainers that only go with one thing.

• The jeans that fall down without a belt.

• 5 separate sweatshirts, none of which went with the rest of my clothes.

• Leggings/cycle shorts.

• Small handbag, only large enough for phone.

• 3 jackets, none of which were worn.

• A dress I considered donating the week before we left, because I hate it.

• 5 goooolllldddd riiiiiiings.

• A skirt that creases horribly within minutes of putting it on, then looks like a crumpled tissue for the rest of the day.

• “Jaunty” sun hat, normally only worn abroad.

• And a partridge in a pear tree.

The Weather I Packed For:

• Hot, sunny, subtropical.

The Weather I Got:

• Cool, breezy, occasionally boiling, but rainy at the same time.

Thing That Would Have Been Ridiculous to Bring, Given That We Were Only Away for a Week:

• Nail polish.

Thing I Really Needed:

• Nail polish¹.

Things I Rarely Wear as I’m Too Self-Conscious in Them:

• Bodycon skirts and dresses.

Things I Packed, Almost Exclusively:

• Bodycon skirts and dresses.

Things I Panic-Bought Because I Was Freezing:

• Horrible saggy grey cardigan.

• Ivory sweater that’s identical to the grey version I already had, but didn’t bring.

Thing I Put on the Donate Pile as Soon as I Got Home:

• Horrible saggy grey cardigan.

Photo in Which My Child’s Face Perfectly Sums Up How Well I Packed:

So it was an awkward and uncomfortable week for me — sartorially speaking at least — which ended with my trusty GHD curling iron dying in service on our last full morning; which meant I got to spend the rest of that day, plus the 7 hour drive home, with my frizzy, un-styled hair scraped back in a bun. Excellent work, Amber. Just excellent.

I was… not my best self, all things considered: a fact that is both completely incomprehensible to me (I mean, I travel multiple times per year, most years: HOW am I still so bad at it?), and yet totally on brand. My habit of packing inappropriately, then having to go shopping as soon as I reach my destination is actually one of the many reasons for my current financial woes, and this is something I’m going to be writing more about soon (YAY!), because it’s pretty much all I think about, really. (The terrible financial situation, I mean, not the terrible packing situation. I think I’ve made my point about that, really.) In the meantime, here I am with some piglets, because this is supposed to be a newsletter about my week, and touching piglets was, indeed, part of my week²:

I’m going to skip the usual “Reading / Watching / Trying” sections of this one, though, because as I’ve been away all week, I haven’t been doing any of the above. As this newsletter goes out, however, Max will be starting his first day of the new school term, which means I’ll be able to get back into my usual routine, and start creating content for you again. Although I haven’t had much time to write over the summer holidays, I have had plenty of time to think about writing, and I have lots of ideas and plans for the newsletter, which I’m excited to get down on paper/pixels after a summer of making tons of random notes on my phone.

So, next week this roundup will be back to its usual Friday slot, and if there’s anything in particular you’d like me to write about, don’t forget that paid subscribers can request a post here.

Until next time…

1. Because my toenail polish flaked off one toe only, which looked really weird when I was wearing sandals. Which I had to, on account of only bringing the trainers that go with one thing.

2. At the Rare Breeds Centre, near Ashford. I recommend it.