Welcome to The Awkward Girl's Guide...

What's all this about, then?

A perennially awkward introvert moves to a small Scottish village to start over as a romance author after parenthood and a pandemic turns her life upside down. Hilarity ensues.* (*Not really.)

That’s it. That’s the “hook”. It’s also my life right now, and the (rough) topic of this newsletter. I couldn’t think of a way to sum it up in one, neat little sentence, so I decided to write a blurb for it, as if it was one of my books. Yes, I hate me, too.

(Did I mention I also write books! You can buy them, if you like…)

Anyway, hi, I’m Amber.

People who don’t know me generally describe me as a romance author, lifestyle blogger, or “really annoying, actually,” depending on how much they like me.

People who do know me, on the other hand, are more likely to say things like, “Why do these things always happen to you, Amber?” or “What’s that on your face?” and that’s why, when asked to introduce myself, I normally just mumble a bit then say I write things for a living. Which is true.

So, hi: I’m Amber, and I write things. These days I mostly write books about slightly awkward people who keep getting themselves into ridiculous situations (Don’t ask me where my inspiration comes from, I beg you…), but before that I wrote a blog called Forever Amber, which used to regularly appear on lists of the Top UK Bloggers, even though it was mostly just about things like that one time I touched an electric fence, or paid £50 for a set of eyelash extensions that made me look like Barbara Cartland.

I also write this newsletter, which you should probably understand is not actually a “guide to life”. I just want to make that clear upfront.

No, this newsletter is really just an exploration of awkwardness, in all its forms. It’s about being an introvert in a world made for extroverts. About being socially awkward, and never quite fitting in. It’s about over-thinking everything, from what to wear, to what will happen to my diaries if I get hit by a bus tomorrow. It’s about what happens when “influencers” stop being… well, influential, really… and can’t quite figure out who they are any more, and it’s about my attempt to remain forever Amber, through parenthood, advancing age, and beyond.

Here’s a bit more about me…

I am Not A People Person. I love inanimate objects a little too much. I once lived next door to an international man of mystery. I have an unfortunate habit of flooding my own house. I am never knowingly seen without a hair elastic on one wrist. I grew up ugly. As a child, I was obsessed with horses and Enid Blyton stories. I hate birthdays, New Year’s Eve, and cold weather. I am terrified of crabs. I was born and raised in Scotland, but my heart belongs to Florida and/or California; please don’t make me choose which. I quit my job in PR when my husband was diagnosed with kidney failure and had to get a transplant. I’ve been blogging ever since. I’ve been keeping diaries since I was 11-years-old. I’m so pale that if I don’t wear makeup, everyone assumes I’m dying. I’m an only child. I was not named after my red hair. I once declined an invitation to my own party. I love Taylor Swift. I gave birth by elective c-section following one miscarriage, one ectopic pregnancy, and a lifetime’s worth of tokophobia. My son, Max, is 5 years old, and is currently obsessed with the Titanic and Dolly Parton, in that order. I don’t have a favourite book, song or movie, and get anxious when asked to choose one. “Why does it always happen to YOU, Amber?” is the thing people say to me most often. I love sad songs and books about mysterious old houses, and I’m really bad at writing lists of facts about myself…

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