The Awkward Girl's Guide

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A perennially awkward introvert moves to a Scottish village to start over as a romance author after parenthood and a pandemic turns her life upside down. Hilarity ensues.* (*Not really.)
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Welcome to The Awkward Girl's Guide...

What's all this about, then?

Amber Eve
Oct 20, 2022
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Welcome to The Awkward Girl's Guide...

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A perennially awkward introvert moves to a small Scottish village to start over as a romance author after parenthood and a pandemic turns her life upside down. Hilarity ensues.* (*Not really.)

Thatโ€™s it. Thatโ€™s the โ€œhookโ€. Itโ€™s also my life right now, and the (rough) topic of this newsletter. I couldnโ€™t think of a way to sum it up in one, neat little sentence, so I decided to write a blurb for it, as if it was one of my books. Yes, I hate me, too.

(Did I mention I also write books! You can buy them, if you likeโ€ฆ)

Anyway, hi, Iโ€™m Amber.

People who donโ€™t know me generally describe me as a romance author, lifestyle blogger, or โ€œreally annoying, actually,โ€ depending on how much they like me.

People who do know me, on the other hand, are more likely to say things like, โ€œWhy do these things always happen to you, Amber?โ€ or โ€œWhatโ€™s that on your face?โ€ and thatโ€™s why, when asked to introduce myself, I normally just mumble a bit then say I write things for a living. Which is true.

So, hi: Iโ€™m Amber, and I write things. These days I mostly write books about slightly awkward people who keep getting themselves into ridiculous situations (Donโ€™t ask me where my inspiration comes from, I beg youโ€ฆ), but before that I wrote a blog called Forever Amber, which used to regularly appear on lists of the Top UK Bloggers, even though it was mostly just about things like that one time I touched an electric fence, or paid ยฃ50 for a set of eyelash extensions that made me look like Barbara Cartland.

I also write this newsletter, which you should probably understand is not actually a โ€œguide to lifeโ€. I just want to make that clear upfront.

No, this newsletter is really just an exploration of awkwardness, in all its forms. Itโ€™s about being an introvert in a world made for extroverts. About being socially awkward, and never quite fitting in. Itโ€™s about over-thinking everything, from what to wear, to what will happen to my diaries if I get hit by a bus tomorrow. Itโ€™s about what happens when โ€œinfluencersโ€ stop beingโ€ฆ well, influential, reallyโ€ฆ and canโ€™t quite figure out who they are any more, and itโ€™s about my attempt to remain forever Amber, through parenthood, advancing age, and beyond.

Hereโ€™s a bit more about meโ€ฆ

I am Not A People Person. I love inanimate objects a little too much. I once lived next door to an international man of mystery. I have an unfortunate habit of flooding my own house. I am never knowingly seen without a hair elastic on one wrist. I grew up ugly. As a child, I was obsessed with horses and Enid Blyton stories. I hate birthdays, New Yearโ€™s Eve, and cold weather. I am terrified of crabs. I was born and raised in Scotland, but my heart belongs to Florida and/or California; please donโ€™t make me choose which. I quit my job in PR when my husband was diagnosed with kidney failure and had to get a transplant. Iโ€™ve been blogging ever since. Iโ€™ve been keeping diaries since I was 11-years-old. Iโ€™m so pale that if I donโ€™t wear makeup, everyone assumes Iโ€™m dying. Iโ€™m an only child. I was not named after my red hair. I once declined an invitation to my own party. I love Taylor Swift. I gave birth by elective c-section following one miscarriage, one ectopic pregnancy, and a lifetimeโ€™s worth of tokophobia. My son, Max, is 5 years old, and is currently obsessed with the Titanic and Dolly Parton, in that order. I donโ€™t have a favourite book, song or movie, and get anxious when asked to choose one. โ€œWhy does it always happen to YOU, Amber?โ€ is the thing people say to me most often. I love sad songs and books about mysterious old houses, and Iโ€™m really bad at writing lists of facts about myselfโ€ฆ

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Welcome to The Awkward Girl's Guide...

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ยฉ 2023 Amber
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